When I first embarked upon the wild waters of the internet back in ’92 as a wee girl still in elementary school, one of the first things I wanted to know about was sex.
SEX! my almost-adolescent brain shouted at me. (I am assured this is entirely normal.) Sex sex sex SEX SEX SEXSEXSEX–
Though it is hard to discern the particular nuance my brain was getting at through mere text, rest assured my brain merely wanted to know… just what the hell is sex?
That was eighteen years ago. Now I am an experienced woman who has managed to successfully procreate as well as publish two stories predominately concerned with the exact subject of SEX, and I must confess: Sometimes, I’m still figuring some of it out.
Okay, not exactly. I know what happens. I’ve done many things a number of times. I am what one would call “Technically Proficient” in boinking. (Note to self: This should be real certification.) What I’m still figuring out is what, exactly, makes a good written erotic scene? Technically Proficient doesn’t cut it in erotica. Insert tab A into slot B? Boring, everyone knows that! There’s more to it, clearly, but that’s where I start getting fuzzy.
Obviously I think I write pretty decent erotic scenes, but I’m not sure why they’re good – all I know is that they are good for me, but therein lies the pitfall. Writing sex is all fun and games until one misplaced instance of the phrase “womb ferret” lands your lovingly crafted prose on WeepingCock. So what, exactly, separates the scorching book with suspiciously sticky pages from the winners of the Bad Sex awards?
Admittedly, for me there are certain scenarios or moves that always mash my kink buttons and tickle my id and I will endure almost any amount of bad sex scenes to read them. (Priests, or someone pretending to be a priest, gets me every time. Show me an erotic story involving a conflicted man of the cloth and I will buy that book so hard. I blame Colleen McCullough.) But my kinks are not the kinks of others, so I’m still trying to decipher what makes a scorching hot love scene between one or more people.
Is it the emotion? The descriptions of smell, sound, sight, touch or taste? Do your favorite love scenes involve more detail or less? Is there a word, or an uttered scentence, or a particular sexual trick that will make you close the book and never look back? (Personally, the description of buttocks or breasts as “globes” will make me shut a book and curse its line for all eternity.) When you get hot and bothered, is the erotic scene slow? Or fast? Or does it depend entirely upon the book you are reading and the personalities of the characters?
Inquiring minds want to know! For myself, I like my scenes to be realistic. A little awkward, even. But I also love lots of anticipation in my erotic scenes. I like to have the characters flirting with the deed and begging for it by the time the clothes come off. I love it so much I managed to make anticipation practically a requirement of the plot of my first EC release, Stairway to Heaven, a steamy ghost story. Comment on this post and tell me what you really love in an erotic scene, and I’ll randomly choose one commenter to recieve a free copy of Stairway. I’m really curious as to what you all have to say.
What do I like in an erotic scene? I like laughter, and eye contact, and conversation, and people who are clearly having a good time. People who are really enjoying themselves smile, and laugh, and look at one another. I like to see that the erotica I read too.
I also like erotica involving multiple participants. Threesomes are good, but foursomes or better for the win! Why? Because in real life, I love swinging. I love participating, and I love to watch (or be watched). There’s just something wickedly exciting about sex with and around other people that makes me happy….
Oh, I LOVE this answer. I completely agree, sex with a smile is definitely a turn on, and watching other people enjoy themselves (or being watched, oh yes) is very hot.
Great post, Heather. You got me thinking.
I have to say the purple prose absolutely makes it a baaaad scene for me. LOL Although I’ve honestly got no problems with the word globe. Go figure.
A good scene seems a bit tougher to define, since there are so many variables. I want lots of emotion between the two characters.
Sometimes the descriptions of smells and tastes can really work, other times it’s a bit eww, I guess it depends on the word choice.
But I do have to admit, I like a little dirty talking. The whole I’m gonna …. or you taste…
that kind of thing, for whatever reason, usually works for me.
I hear you on the descriptions of smells and tastes. Sometimes it’s a huge turn-on, and sometimes not, but I can only guess that different things rock people’s boats in this area. Saying, “She smelled like summer evenings” or whatever is going to give one person good vibes and another person hayfever.
I like love scenes that are rough and edgy. I love stories that push the characters into trying something they’re afraid to admit they like.
This intrigues me. I know that I enjoy this sort of thing in my erotic scenes as well, but when writing them I have a huge red neon sign flashing in my brain and telling me, “BOUNDARY CROSSED, BOUNDARY CROSSED” which is great when penning a fantasy, not so great when you’ve been conditioned to always respect a boundary. I have trouble separating the two, I think. Thanks for your answer.
Great post! I love dialogue in a hot scene. Not too much, of course, but I love those whispered words that are often spoken without much thought and provide a look into a character at their most vulnerable!
OOOOOOooooh, yes Kaily! I adore that sort of thing. Personally I like it best when characters are attempting to talk but are so over the edge it comes out almost cavemanlike or garbled.
I like erotica where the people involved care for one another. I also like some BDSM or menage, but not always.
I also have to be in the mood for BDSM or menage, and it has to really work with the established characters. Maybe I err on the side of vanilla too much.
Ooh, good question. A good love scene depends on so many different things. Sometimes short and quick is good, while other times a slow loving with lots of teasing and laughter works well. Someone mentioned anticipation and flirtation. I like humor added to a scene.
The love scene has to be part of the plot and make sense in the scheme of things rather than something tossed in to add kink. That’s my main criteria.
“The love scene has to be part of the plot and make sense in the scheme of things rather than something tossed in to add kink. That’s my main criteria.”
Couldn’t agree more. I like a lot of hot scenes as much as the next person, but I’ve definitely skipped them if they just seemed gratuitous.
For me it’s all about the emotions that are taking place during the acts. The conflict. The uncertainty about what’s coming next. Is the heroine’s romantic fantasy about to come true or is this just about sex for him? Is he too hot for her? Too young for her? Does she really want to take her clothes off in front of him? Should she really be doing this? It could ruin her career, cause her to lose something important to her, break her heart…Then there are the other emotions. Feeling the irresistible animal attraction for one another. Experiencing that moment of “OMG, this could be so much more!”
Without emotions involved, it has no context and becomes porn instead of erotica, and porn doesn’t typically turn me on.
I love the roiling emotions, too, but I’m starting to feel there’s a delicate balance to strike, and that there can definitely be TOO much emotion… I’m just not sure where that line is, haha. Or maybe I’m just unreasonably picky with my love scenes. (I suspect it is the latter.)
There are so many emotions involved in sex. Each person brings something different to the ‘table’ too, and each situation is different as well. I’m not sure if I could define what really makes a scene work for me except the author has to engage not just my mind and emotions but physically I need to ‘feel’ what the characters feel. If my stomach drops at the moment the heroine realizes she’s in love with the hero then I know it’s working.
If only there were some kind of test I could apply to a piece of text that would tell me if that will, in fact, happen, lol. When I go back and try to decipher what makes that sort of thing go down, it loses the magic. Good romantic writing is irreducibly complex, and I’m starting to suspect that I will never find out The Secret–it’ll either be there, or it won’t.
Excellent question.
First about purple prose…god, I love to get my hands of PP for some laughs. You know…the purple helmuted love soldier. LOL Love those!
I want to experience the scene…be in the scene…be totally affected by what I’m reading. Smells, sounds, touch. I seem to enjoy some dirty talk with my erotica! TMI? Also sex against the wall…YUM.
and I want that darn book.
Purple prose is an artform! “He thrust his manly manmeat into her quivering feminine flower, and she milked his member like a farmer on crystal meth.”
I, too, love sex against the wall, at least in my fiction. Trying it in real life has yielded less than stellar results, but perhaps I haven’t been doing it right, or I am too lazy.
“and I want that darn book.
”
LOL. Well, you’re in luck because the random number generator picked you! Congrats!
OMG the Thorn Birds, yes! LOL I was fixated on the clergy for a good year after reading that. Sigh. Ah, good times, good times.
For me, though, it’s generally what’s happening in the characters’ heads as much as what’s going on externally. Especially with well-written kink/BDSM (I love to read well-written D/s) it’s at its most erotic when I know exactly what’s going through the characters’ minds (even if they aren’t always sure themselves!). Conflict? Delicious. Uncertainty? Delightful.
Oh, the Thorn Birds was a cruel, wonderful book. Wonderful in that it gave me this terrible priest kink, and cruel in that there are so few other stories like it out there.
Emotion and character thought is a big theme running through people’s answers, which is very interesting. Conflict and uncertainty are my favorite emotions to read about in love scenes as well.
Emotion and chemistry between the characters is a must. The best love scenes I’ve read are the ones that totally draw me into the story.
Now if only I could bottle chemistry and figure out just what goes into it, I’d be set!
I like erotic scenes with a lot of emotion. Even if they enter into it for just sex, it has to become emotional for me to be engaged in it. Whether it’s vanilla or kinky, it’s the emotion for me.
Great topic Heather!
“Even if they enter into it for just sex, it has to become emotional for me to be engaged in it.”
This is a wonderful insight. I like it because it ups the stakes in what could be a mechanical act. So… back atcha! Great answer!
It’s funny to read the responses regarding purple prose. I personally like my romance and my erotica a little purply. I get turned off if there are too many words or descriptions that are harshly sexual (too urban?) I guess that’s hard to explain. A little purple softens things, in my opinion.
I think so too Crystal.
I think there’s definitely a balance. I admit that I like my erotica to be more literary than not, but literary doesn’t mean purple. At least, I hope not.
Funny and thoughtful blog, Heather. I like scenes with lots of build-up and of course, emotions. Although, some times an instant spontaneous coupling is fun. I’ll certainly be giving my love scenes greater thought after your blog.
Now I want to say, “don’t give ‘em too much thought!” because I think I have and now I’m getting all cerebral on what should be a more visceral thing.
Good post and question! I think I prefer a slow buildup–lots of smoldering glances and some witty repartee, ramping up the tension… The scene can be explosive, but I like to see the fuse ignite and burn a bit before the big bang